It has been a long time since I have updated. My hands not really wanting to hand my emotions over to a screen, I guess. But tonight has been too hard … a sadness too rock-solid to bite off and swallow then smile … my teeth would shatter and they would know something is wrong with my grin anyway.

I was seeing this girl from Paris. We went out a few times. The last time we went to a movie where she motioned to hold my hand. After it got out I tried to hold her hand on the street she just wouldn’t latch on. And I thought to myself: “she was pretending I was her ex when she grabbed for my hand.” Because she talked about how they had been together for five years a couple of dates ago. So, today I get a response email from one I sent her asking her out on Saturday “My ex is coming down for ten days on Saturday, and we’re going to Quebec.” Sometimes it just hurts to confirm suspicions.

And people will say things like “well, your heart was in the right place” when you’re sitting there with tears screaming all the way down your cheeks. But it wasn’t … if it was in the right place it would not have gotten hurt. The right place would have been pulled back from view.